5/6/11

OSS: "Hey girl. I have an idea."
Myself: "Ok?"
OSS: "Wait nevermind. False Alarm."

5/5/11

OSS:(listening to hakuna matata on her disney station)

"do you think that actually means no worries? like in some other language or something?"

3/8/11

OSS:  "how is it that NASCAR managed to be the most popular sport in the world?"
Myself: "I'm pretty sure it's not girl, that's soccer."
OSS: "No it's not i promise. ESPN said."
Myself: "it's only an American sport. there's no way that worldwide it has more fans than soccer."
OSS: "yes. it does."
Myself: "let's look it up then, wanna help me Google it?"
OSS: "girl whatever it's not that important, you just need to trust me. They said it on ESPN."
Myself: "i would but you're wrong, I'm sorry but soccer is the champ worldwide"
OSS: "soccer isn't worldwide either...there are countries with no soccer"
Myself:  "like where?"
OSS: ............

3/1/11

(AC/DC back in black comes on)
OSS: "I always thought this was funny, cuz I'm pretty sure they're fully caucasian..."
Myself: "what?"
OSS: "AC/ DC .....they aren't remotely black, bunch of old white guys"

1/31/11 Continued

OSS: So I'm reading this book by a European guy about American government, and he keeps spelling governatorial with a B. Stupid British people and their funny spelling...
Myself: is he using the word "gubernatorial" hon?
OSS: Yeah, like he can just put a B where it doesn't belong...

(ten minutes pass)

OSS: He also keeps spelling Lloyd with 2 L's....what is THAT about?

1/31/11

(Listening to Ray Charles "I Got a Woman" on my radio at work, she turns to me)
OSS: Who is this guy and WHY is he trying to sound like Kanye West?
Myself: What?
OSS: This is a total rip off of Gold Digger...stupid...

OSS: ok so help me out, if i have to drive 22 miles to work every day and my car only gets 20 mpg, will that mean i have to fill up my tank every single day?

Myself: no no no, it gets 20 mpg, not 20 miles per tank

OSS: ok maybe i'm being slow today but i still don't get it

Myself: your tank holds more than one gallon, therefore you can drive much further than 22 miles on one tank

OSS: ok i know that makes sense, still don't get how it works, but makes sense...sort of...

Myself: I've always hated having to call someone a "Domestic Partnership", it's too long and awkward. Can't we just call them "lovers?"

OSS: WHAT? Of course we can't. Gay people would be so offended if you ever EVER called them lovers.

Myself: Why? I don't think anything about that is offensive...

OSS: Gay people are the most easily offended people in the world. That's why we had to invent the word "Domestic Partnership" in the first place and we can't just call them homos.

Myself: I'm going to completely disagree with you there...

OSS: OK then.

1/26/11

OSS: What does that creepy guy think he's doing here again?
Myself: Who the building maintenance guy?
OSS: No the creeper with the ladder and tool belt.